Having been in athletics my entire life, both as a player and a coach, I often find myself confronted with a high degree of emphasis placed upon winning. As a player I have always had a deep desire to win and a hatred for losing. I can embarrassingly admit that I remember as a 3rd grader punching a classmate for his failure to hit the ball over the net in a gym class volleyball game. I have carried this desire to win and hatred toward losing my entire life... and it's still there.

      As I began coaching, losing became even more personal. I no longer had the opportunity to physically participate and directly affect the game's outcome. My first and most lengthy coaching experience lasted 15 years and was at the Division I NCAA College hockey level. I am now beginning my second year of coaching at the youth level, as the coach of the Chicago Chill AAA Bantam team. Having had a chance to look back at my college coaching experience, and the opportunity to see the current direction of youth hockey, I find myself with a different attitude toward winning. Although striving to win is extremely important, how you accomplish winning is far more important.

       I believe, at the youth level in all sports, and possibly at the high school level as well, winning should be a secondary priority, not the ultimate and only goal, as too often the case. The primary emphasis should be placed upon the development of each and every athlete both on and off the ice/field/court. If the cost of winning a game does damage to one player's self confidence, desire or interest in the sport then ultimately as coaches we have failed. I cannot accept the thought of sitting a weaker player(s) on the bench in an effort to win a game. The amount of humiliation and embarrassment that players feel and take from that game is far more significant than any positive that may have come from "winning" the game.

        The decision as to how much playing time a child receives should not be based upon that child's ability or lack thereof. Instead, we should be teaching and rewarding the values of effort, discipline, coachability and team play. We should be instilling confidence, encouraging success, identifying mistakes, and providing the opportunity to correct mistakes. Penalize a player because of laziness and selfishness, but not for lack of ability.

       Youth sports are not about the "strong surviving". They are there to create the "strong" from all of our participants. Each and every child deserves the opportunity to compete, feel a valuable part of the team, and be provided the opportunity to develop as a player and person. If people, especially young people, do not feel good about themselves, development will stagnate. Coaches must realize that they may be destroying the possibility of any future development by limiting the opportunity to play. If a child feels like a failure at hockey, his/her self-confidence toward everything he/she does may be diminished. None of us can predict when development in any individual will begin, accelerate or decline. If provided the opportunity to develop, a weak player in a year's time may become the best player. However, none can develop if not given the incentive and opportunity to do so.

       As coaches, we must decide why we are involved and what motivates our decisions. If winning is our ultimate goal, the damage caused may far outweigh the positive experiences. If coaches can simply understand that their main reason for involvement is the kids, all of us will be winners.